Trust belongs in the root chakra (level one of the foundations of you). It’s foundational because without trust how to we build for example our confidence or learn to trust our hearts again.
I remember as a child I believed I could fly. I trusted that this was possible, so I threw myself off the top of the stairs. Luckily my dad who knew better just happened to be standing at the bottom of the stairs caught me. My days of flying in that way were over.
But it never stopped me trying things out, getting hurt, learning from the experience and getting on with life.
There have been many times that my trust has been broken, from the odd gossipy friend, employers who lied (no, course there won’t be any redundancies…), to husbands living double lives. What I learn from these things is that people will break your trust, it’s part of life. But that you have to be willing to risk it happening again, otherwise you will live a fearful life.
Fear turns to stress and turns to anxiety.
That is not to say you need to rush in and get hurt again, because we learn, don’t we? And from the learning we grow stronger in our ability to listen to our intuition and make better conscious choices.
Let’s explore trust
There are so many reasons why we don’t trust ourselves. Trust is about belief, and it is how we act when we either trust ourselves and others or not. It is also tied to confidence. When you do not trust yourself or others, then naturally you become fearful of what you might do or say.
Have you noticed that when someone does something to you that breaks your trust that this becomes difficult to shake off when you find yourself in a similar situation? This can be particularly true of relationships where perhaps your partner has been unfaithful and subsequently, it is difficult to trust them or others not to do this to you again.
What about when it comes to eating, can you trust yourself to not eat the whole packet of biscuits or to just eat one chunk of chocolate? Or perhaps you don’t venture out of your comfort zone because you don’t trust that you can do whatever is required?
If lack of trust in anything is plaguing you, then you could find that some of the joy goes out of life because you become too fearful of committing to something. And then, of course, that old rogue self-sabotage could show up to hold you back even more.
The problem is that this lack of trust is operating at a level that you are not even aware of. The first place, therefore, to address this is becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Do not judge, simply acknowledge that this is what you have been doing. Tracing the roots will help you to understand where and when this first started, and from there, you can decide that you want to learn to trust again.
Self-trust is like anything it needs the practice to get into the muscle. Make a decision that you will commit to trusting again. You might affirm that you are always on the right path. Trust that your goals lead you somewhere and that the right way is continually unfolding.
Creating healthy boundaries and learning to say no will ensure that you can protect yourself until such time you want to go beyond your comfort zone. Be vulnerable and give it a go, sometimes you have to let your guard down and trust all will be well. You can practice showing your vulnerability in a safe setting. Talk to a close family member or good friend and be open with them about how you are feeling.
The bottom line is that to trust others, you have to trust yourself first and in your ability to make good choices. Even if someone has hurt you, this is not because you failed or made a mistake, this is down to them and their behaviour. If you can understand their motivations, then this will help you to know why. Of course, the same applies to you, what were your reasons for not trusting? This is where trusting your intuition comes in. Do you listen to your gut feelings or your heart? Listening and trusting your intuition will guide you through life.
Look at all of the things that you do trust and all of the great decisions you did make and do more of these. In this way, you will build your trust muscle. Consider relationships you ended because of broken trust or things you tried and succeeded at. What does that tell you? What else can you look at- career, financial, health or friendships? All of this is a great reminder that you are in tune with yourself.
Forgive and let go, holding onto what happened is not healthy. In my book Root Chakra Journaling there is a wonderful forgiveness process there in roots and letting go. In addition to forgiveness, allow yourself to grieve any losses. You may be mourning the end of a relationship that wasn’t healthy or a life you knew that wasn’t serving you. Grief is the emotion at the heart chakra, and this is where working with your heart on self-love is essential to your healing. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and use your journal to help you to process them. Finally, leave the past behind and set your expectations for a life where you trust, respect and honour yourself.
Trust journaling prompts
- What does trust mean to you?
- How would trusting yourself help to improve the quality of your life?
Affirmation — I trust in my choices and decisions
- Accept where you are
- Acknolwledge your awareness — this means you can make good conscious choices
- Be willing to test the waters — to learn and explore
- Feel into the emotions and notice your behaviour — what do you learn?
Think of all the times that trust worked for you — explore why? What do you learn? How can you embrace that again? See the challenge, lesson and gift. When you trust you, then you can trust others or more you will listen to your intuition and take good action based on that.
Listen in to the Healthy, Wealthy, Healed And Happy Podcast
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Originally published at https://daledarley.com on February 1, 2021.