It’s curious how things synchronistically come to remind you of what needs to be dealt with. On Friday a lovely friend was talking about not feeling good enough, which reminded me of an affirmation -
I am enough, I have always been enough, and I will always be enough and a journaling prompt — I deserve.
On Saturday night I did a wonderful full moon releasing ceremony with Yasmin Boland (Moonology fame). But strangely on Sunday although I felt ok-ish something was not right. I was soon to be triggered back into that feeling of not feeling good enough. Although I didn’t realise this until this morning.
I was doing a meditation sending love and good feelings to a loved one. This was to be followed by sending the same goodwill to myself. It was then it struck me that I still held feelings of not being good enough. It was palpable. And so enlightening.
Then it struck me that what I needed to do for this full moon in Gemini was to let go of parts of me that no longer served me. As a highly visual person, I was presented with a series of images of my younger self.
There was the girl who won the esteemed packet of felt pens for coming first in a small competition. I remember I was on the last question, I found the book with the answer and raced to claim first place. But it was a hollow victory, it seemed to me that not one of my fellow students was happy for me. Standing on the stage was horrible.
It was the same school who didn’t pick me for the choir… Well, I don’t blame them, I couldn’t sing. But my dreams of being a rock star were smashed against the rocks that day.
Later there was the man who walked up to me in my Paradise Garage leopard print dress to tell me nice body, shame about the face. What he didn’t know was I had abandoned my normal jeans and baggy top to take my courage in my hands to go out like this. Yes, he certainly helped my self-esteem.
These are, of course, just a few examples. You, like me, will have had a lifetime of stuff coming up despite years of personal growth work. I confess my recovery time from a snide comment is pretty quick. And of course, my journal and energy work sort me out.
The full moon in Gemini a time for more self-love
What I love about this coming up on a full moon in Gemini is that it reminds me of our duality. How our inner world is often hidden from our outer world, but that it is always being reflected and does change the way we see things. It’s like constantly trying to balance our humanness with just being rather than always doing.
Gemini is an air sign, which rules the mind and in the chakra system belongs to the heart chakra. How perfect is that? A reminder to get out of your head and be kind and compassionate when we are feeling not enough and to start to do more self-love activities.
A wonderful self-love activity is love me notes. Write yourself a note on a post-it before going to bed. Pop it on the kettle or fridge. The following morning you will be greeted by a wonderful note from yourself.
Bring in mighty Sagitarrius
We are also in the sun sign of Sagittarius, which is fire, and in the chakra system, this is represented by the solar plexus. The solar plexus is personal power, confidence, being assertive and our identity.
This then leads me to ask — who am I? Or more importantly — who am I when I am my best self?
Who do you need to let go of?
Which brings me nicely to the point. Who do you need to let go of? Not what, but who (or is that whom???).
There will be many parts of you hidden from view which your twin now wants you to reveal and observe. Yes, it can be painful bringing up memories, but these are simply pages in the book of your life. Read the page and ask what you can learn from this? What are the gifts?
I want to let go of the girl who feels not good enough. I admit it’s not a major problem, but its come up and that means it needs dealing with.
My way of dealing with this is to write in my journal — who do I want to let go of? Followed by the affirmation that I started with
I am enough, I have always been enough, and I will always be enough and a journaling prompt — I deserve…
Who or what am I giving my power away to?
When you step into not good enough, you are essentially giving away your power. Try these questions:
- In what ways do I give my power away?
- What part of my story is this connected to?
- Where are you telling yourself that you “should” or “must” or “have to” do something?
- How could I set clearer boundaries?
- In what ways could I hold more assertive conversations?
- Why am I doing this?
- What will I gain from it?
- What won’t I gain?
- What can I do differently?
Who do I want to be?
What I have come to believe is who I want to be is about qualities and values. I want to be kind, loving, lovable, nonjudgmental, funny, perspicacious, discerning and extraordinary in an ordinary way. I just want to be the kind of person that others trust and respect. That others know that they can rely on when they need some love or a doggy lick (from the girls, not me).
As ever there will be more that I want to become as I learn and traverse this life. I am like you a work in progress and the never-finished article, and I guess I will only know what the finished article is when I go home to the soul place.
What I know is that the me that I desire to be now, will not be the who I want to be later in my life and I like that. I like the idea that I am forever evolving and becoming, and this is what I believe to be part of the magic of life and being human and just being.
This full moon in Gemini — heart chakra is a call for more self-love and compassion and combined with Sun in Sagitarrius — solar plexus chakra says check-in with your identity, call in your confident self and be all that you can, by letting go of who you don’t want to be.
If this resonates and you want to work with an intuitive coach who will help you to traverse the heady world of being human through the chakras and journaling, please book a call.
Originally published at https://daledarley.com on November 30, 2020.